The Reality of Being Both Mother & Slave

 

There are a great many people out there in both the Gorean and M/s communities who believe that one cannot be a mother and a slave at the same time. They feel that because the slave must put the interests of the child first in many cases, that that is somehow taking away from the owner's needs and pleasures being paramount.

While I can see the logic in this view, I don't believe we live in such a black & white world.

If one was to use that logic, then no one could ever really be a slave at all because they are required (as citizens of a nation) to obey the laws of their city/state/country over and above their obedience to their Master.

The world is full of gray. The world is also full of people who try to paint everything out to be completely black or white. The only thing I know about absolutes is that there really are no absolutes when it comes to lifestyles.

For the sake of this essay, I am going use the definition of "slave" that I believe applies to the consensual slavery that is being discussed.

According to the Webster's dictionary, slave is defined thusly:

slave: n. One who is abjectly subservient to a dominating influence or force.

So if a slave (as defined by Webster above) is abjectly subservient to her Master, and that particular Master has instructed the slave from day one that the children's well being and welfare should and will be paramount to both he and his slave, then where is the conflict? If the slave trusts the man implicitly to make the best decisions with regards to the children and he does so, why is there a problem?

The concept that a child should ALWAYS come first is flawed. There are times when the parents needs do take precedence. There are times when the parents wants take precedence over the child's wants too.

For example, on an airplane, when the oxygen masks are dropped in an emergency, adults are instructed to put their masks on first. The reason for this is obvious to me, yet to many people it must be explained because they have been taught and had it drilled into them that the child always comes first, period. They cannot initially see that by putting the child "2nd" in this situation, the Childs needs are better met.

At the dinner table in most traditional families, the man was served first. The reason for this was both symbolic and practical. He was the head of his household and the wage earner. His nourishment was essential so that the children in turn would be nourished.

I can think of nothing more natural and positive for a child than to see two parents living in a symbiotic relationship where each party appears fulfilled and happy. The child need not be subject to viewing the more blatantly demonstrative practices of M/s no more than he would be subject to intimate aspects. If both parents are level headed, decent people then it won't be a problem.

I understand that there are various doomsday scenarios, i.e. what if the slave is commanded to molest the child, etc., however those are no different than any other law-breaking scenario. At this point, the relationship has changed to one where the Master is no longer in control of his own faculties let alone able to be responsible for controlling or instructing his slave. The slave would most likely at that point cease being a slave, take control, disobey, and move on.

There are other less drastic scenarios - for example what if the 2 year old child is in the bathtub and the Master calls out to the slave and requires her to bring him some iced tea. Does she put his pleasure first and go get his tea and leave the baby in the tub? I think the answer is simple. Firstly, if she calls to him and tells him that the infant is in the tub, I would imagine he would instruct her to take care of the child first. If she doesn't want to call out for fear of displeasing, she could always wrap the baby in a towel, bring the baby to the kitchen, get the tea, bring it to her owner and then resume the bath. It’s more work that way but then who ever said being a slave was easy?

Being a slave and a mother is difficult. Sometimes conflicts do arise from time to time. Nobody bats 1,000 (not even slaves without kids) and anyone who says they do is full of baloney.

Any relationship is a growing, learning, working experience and everyone makes mistakes along the way. M/s is not exempt from this. If you do have children, however, and you are seeking an M/s way of life, the most important time for putting your kids first is now. Put them first by making sure that the man you seek will be the best father to your children. If you do this, you can ensure that in the future, their needs will continue to be met in a healthy, constructive way.

I am the best mom that I can be. I am imperfect and I make mistakes just like anyone else. My owner and I sometimes disagree where child-rearing issues are concerned. I know that by surrendering to him I have agreed that he will have the final say. If the day comes that he ceases to place the well being of our son at the forefront of his mind then I'll have to do some serious thinking and make some decisions, however, until such a thing actually happens (which I can't foresee) I will continue to be abjectly subservient to him to the best of my ability as his slave.

I don't believe that presenting a list of hypothetical scenarios negates the fact that motherhood and slave-hood can exist simultaneously. I figure if we go by that logic, a Doctor isn't really a Doctor because he might, someday, do something wrong and the AMA might take his license away. Life is full of all kinds of situations. It is what we do with what we have that makes us who we are, not a bunch of speculation or fictional "what ifs."