In various circles, the slave who chooses to step off her path of slavery is a failed slave.  They consider this concept to be absolute and give no leeway with regards to extreme situations, such as abuse or harmful behaviors.  It doesn't matter, in their opinion, that the girl abandoned her role as a man's slave because he abused her or commanded her to commit harmful or illegal acts.  She is still a failed slave if she does not obey and furthermore, they believe that it is never okay to fail. 

After reading a very lengthy thread on one of the boards I belong to I was moved to offer the following thoughts:

Over the past few years I have given a great deal of thought with regard to failure and slavery and how it is viewed by both Goreans and non-Goreans alike. I have spoken to darned near a bazillion people (okay, maybe not that many) *grins* and listened to many different opinions.

Several different people offered this tidbit to me and I have always found it to be rather sound. When collaring a slave, they put these three rules into effect:

Rule #1 is that you NEVER do permanent harm to yourself. Rule #2 is that you never do harm to another unless it is to uphold rule #1 or to protect family/loved ones etc. Rule # 3 is that no one, not even myself, is ever permitted to revoke these conditions as long as you are owned by me.

This does not give the girl the option of disobeying when she is supposed to be fetching coffee, water, giving head or mowing the lawn. It does, however, provide her with the knowledge that to actually do harm to herself or to others *would* be a failure in her slavery simply because she was commanded, above all else, not to ever do so.

So, if she did *not* take care of the crying baby, or she *did* shoot herself, (or any of the other previously presented scenarios), she would definitely at that point, have failed as a slave, a human, and probably in many other areas as well.

While I am sure there are extremely rare, isolated situations where this might not work and that it isn't completely concrete, it does offer a bit of clarity where the "how come I fail if he tells me to hurt myself and I don't" dilemma.

My owner hasn't given these rules to me specifically but has made it very clear to me that if he ever became a few beans shy of a burrito and decided to tell me to do something ridiculously dangerous, illegal, etc., that I am perfectly allowed to not do so and to seek help for him in the form of a psychiatrist, etc. and that by disobeying such a perilous command, my value as a slave would not be decreased in any way whatsoever by him. But then again, he has his feet pretty much firmly rooted in rational reality.

I believe that as people who are engaged in a lifestyle that involves something as profound as surrender, we have a responsibility to those who may not understand to present it in such a way that it is rational, safe, and that such presentation does not have the power to make our choices look alarmingly illegal, stupid, perilous, or insane.

I think that if you stand up on the highest mountain top and shout to the potential slaves out there.. "If you are violently abused by your Master and you cease to be his slave as a result, then you will fail as a slave and it is NEVER okay to fail!", then it is pretty much absolute. It does not say "within the confines of common sense or rational behavior." I am of the opinion that in order for something to be considered absolute, it must be absolute. The word "never" is pretty much absolute.

People ask me sometimes if my surrender to my owner is absolute. I reply that as long as I wish to remain owned by him, it is indeed. That in order to be his slave, I must behave in the manner that he chooses for me to behave in, period. I always have the option of no longer being his slave, however, and if that time ever came where for whatever unforeseen and drastic reasons, I could not - then I would simply no longer be his slave. I would be no less or more of a person, woman, or human. I would just be a woman who is no longer owned by that man.

If a man is climbing a mountain, and halfway up an avalanche starts and pushes him to the bottom, he may have failed to climb that mountain, but it does not make him a failed mountain climber. If he goes to climb the next mountain and because of harsh weather conditions, dehydration, and peril, he decides to retreat back down the mountain to safety, he has failed to climb that mountain as well, but he is still not a failed mountain climber.

If he were to give up completely and decide that it was just too much for him to handle and he really didn't have whatever it takes inside to be a mountain climber, and he had never reached the top of any mountain, then perhaps at that point, he would be considered a failed mountain climber.

The woman who didn't shoot herself in the head failed to shoot herself in the head. She failed to obey a specific task. She is *not*, however, a failed slave in my opinion.

If one day she decided she really didn't have it in her and it didn't make her very happy anymore to try and be a slave and just walked away never to try again, then perhaps at that point, I would consider her a failed slave.