On a board that I belong to, the topic of D/s and Gor came up and several people were of the opinion that D/s was the same as BDSM.  I offered my own thoughts and the following is that post.

After reading a great many recent posts with regard to the differences between Gor and D/s, I thought I might offer my own thoughts here in the hope that what I have to say may be found interesting.

Before I continue, I would like to offer that the thoughts and ideas I am about to present here are my own opinions and beliefs on the issues and that I am not trying to tell anyone that it is the one, true way. I am merely expressing my own beliefs to add to the already lively discussion.

I have always been of the opinion that the Gorean philosophy and the Gorean M/s lifestyle can be looked at as different entities that sprang from the same well. The philosophy itself has, in my opinion, very little to do with slavery or the M/s dynamic but has more to do with the more broad natures of humans - both men and women and their roles in all things, not only with each other. To be Gorean, I do not believe that one must own a slave or be a slave. They must simply live a life that exemplifies some very basic and core beliefs and they must live it according to what Dr. Lange defined as the natural order of men and women. I know many Gorean men who have never owned a slave - they are simply who they are and do not need chattel at their feet to validate them as being practitioners of a philosophy.

The Gorean M/s relationship takes these roles of men and women a bit further. It is similar to the absolute TPE M/s relationship in that it is indeed, an absolute Master-slave relationship, however it also incorporates the Gorean philosophy into it as well, taking it a step in a different direction than some TPE relationships. It may exist with or without the frills and trappings of Gor.

I believe that when it comes to D/s there are some common misconceptions as to what D/s means and how it relates to Gor and Gorean M/s relationships.

D/s is an acronym that simply represents dominance and submission. It has nothing whatsoever to do with S&M (sadism or masochism). D/s is not BDSM, it something that can stand completely free of those trappings and exist purely on its own. I think that people often confuse the term "D/s" with what is known as "BDSM" and while they certainly can coexist, they are distinctly different things.

A D/s relationship is simply where one party is the dominant and the other is the submissive. This can take place at varying degrees. The submissive *may* only submit in certain areas or she may, like the Gorean or TPE slave, surrender *fully* to her owner. D/s is a vast umbrella that covers all types of Dominant/submissive relationships, including the Gorean M/s one as well. It is not mere kink, it can be and is often a way of life.

Not all D/s relationships are Gorean, however, the Gorean M/s relationship is indeed one of dominance and submission, therefore, it is a form of D/s.

BDSM, on the other hand, is an umbrella that encompasses Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, & Masochism or any combination of those four aspects. While most Gorean M/s relationships do have some form of bondage (collars, chains, etc.) and some form of discipline (correction, training, punishment), some do not have the S&M aspects incorporated within them. S&M is not something that is Gorean in nature; however, many self-labeled Goreans do choose to partake in that type of activity as is their right.

I have heard it said that BDSM is all about kinky sex, bedroom games and subbie brats. I have heard it said that Gor is about swords, sci-fi, and doormat slaves. I believe both of these to be incorrect.

I know many slaves in the BDSM lifestyle who are, beyond a doubt, completely surrendered. They do not top from the bottom nor are they bratty. They are damned good slaves to their owners and serve anyone their owner indicates. This is very similar to a Gorean slave's lifestyle.

I know many self-proclaimed Gorean slaves, on the other hand, who top from the bottom and behave no better than spoiled children.

This seems to be a role-reversal from what the standard stereotypes dictate but it still happens.

Does this mean that all Gorean slaves are brats and all BDSM slaves are good? Not in my opinion. To me it simply means that in all avenues of the alternative lifestyle spectrum, you must see each individual for who they are, regardless of the label they have chosen or been placed under. There are good Gorean slaves and there are bratty ones. There are good D/s and BDSM slaves and then there are your bratty varieties as well.

D/s isn't a bad thing, it isn't about brats, S&M and spankings. It is about dominance and submission.

The Gorean lifestyle isn't a bad thing, it isn't about fantasy and spaceships but rather about how the author defined the natures of men and women and its application to life here on good ol' planet terra.

I suppose what I am trying to say is that each person and relationship should, in my opinion, be judged on its own merit, not by the myriad of labels that people are so quick to dish out.

My owner has never called us Gorean but that only means that he's not going to label us to fit someone else's idea of what we should be. We live our life as a testament as to who we are rather than allowing the misconceptions of any label put pre-formed ideas into anyone's head as to how they "think" we are or should be.

I believe that I can learn from all people, regardless of their label or years of experience. I also believe that in a society that is so quick to judge, I should - as a student of life, example of life, slave, and fellow human - do my best not to judge so quickly but rather to give the benefit of the doubt and take the time necessary to formulate an opinion that is founded on facts rather than preconceived misconceptions.