Cavalier on why we are who we are

Why We Are Who We Are

I have probably been asked these questions several hundred times. “Why is it that you are a dominant man? Why is it that you need to be in control?” It sounds simple enough until you really try and nail it down. Well, “I enjoy being in control of my environment - I relish being in charge - I need to be served”, but these (and many more of the same ilk) aren’t the why. They are an explanation of some of the gratifications one receives being a dominant man who has worked, studied, and developed into one who is called Master.

These are the same kind of answers often given by submissive and surrendered women to the question “Why are you a slave?” “I need to serve - I enjoy being controlled - I crave the release of not having to make decisions,” etc. These are outward expressions and gratifications of being a slave, but they are not the big “why?”

Since modern science and medicine have yet to determine what mechanism makes some people enjoy art while others do not, why some prefer vegetables to chocolate, or why people select a certain color as a favorite, it is highly unlikely that there will be any definitive answer that is provable beyond all doubt. Therefore, I will offer my explanation based upon my own observations, study, and introspection.

I believe that there exists a primal instinct to be dominant or submissive, one passed down from the dawn of time, nurtured by a couple of million years of evolution. Take the quintessential caveman-cavewoman scenario. Caveman sees woman. Caveman wants woman. Caveman needs to dominate and control woman. Caveman takes woman. Conversely, cavewoman has her own need to be wanted and taken and dominated. While this example is overly simplistic, it is an example of the instinctive nature that fosters male/master and fem/slave interaction.

Let me take this moment to point out that I am painting with a very broad brush. While my reference point is one of a male/dom – fem/sub nature, I embrace and applaud the freedom of choice that our lifestyle affords for each of us to be that which most totally completes him or her. While your choices may well not be mine and we may not even be able to fathom other’s choices for ourselves, the right to choose and consensually fulfill those choices and desires is the cornerstone of our lifestyle. I am a male Master. I own a female slave. This is my point of reference. I would encourage you to not let my point of reference adversely color the underlying message and I would ask you also to understand that I believe that what is natural for one person may or may not be natural for the next.

It is this instinctive nature that struggles to ascend to the surface despite the best attempts by society and religion to stifle it. It may be indefinable, uncomfortable, perhaps unwanted, and inconvenient, but it is there, it cries out, and if not gratified will breed much discontent.

I have had such desires for as long as I can remember - long before they had a name and became the bedrock focus of my life. In childhood I was the one, who took charge on through young adulthood, when due to circumstances, I assumed the mantle of the alpha-male figure in the home, to adulthood where I always felt the pull to something which had no name and encompassed me.

Now having acknowledged who and what I am and after setting myself on the road to crafting the kind of life I envision, I feel as if all of the missing pieces have at last fallen in to place and come together.

Why am I a dominant man, a Master? Because from the deepest part of me there is a need as profound as that for food, survival, and shelter that demands it. To ignore it, to not live it to the fullest, would be denying who and what I am.